When we expect A but instead receive B we are bound to be unhappy. Unhappiness is largely a result of unfulfilled expectations especially if the thing we expect is outside our control.
Expectation gaps arise when our expectations don’t match our reality. This tension can cause alot of sadness in our lives.
The trick is to narrow these expectation gaps. There are two ways to do this. The first is to redefine our expectations in terms of the things we can control. The second is to change our realities by taking appropriate action.
For instance if a relationship is constrained we need to realise that we can’t change the other party. We can’t get them to behave as we expect. The only thing we have control over is the way we act in the situation. We can choose to be forgiving, loving, supportive, etc. even when the other party is acting irrationally. This way we increase the odds of amicably resolving the tension at hand.