Hostage Leadership: When Your Staff Are in Charge (And You’re Not)

By Eddie Mugulusi

Let me say something that might sting a little:

If your staff are walking all over you, it’s because you rolled out the carpet.

I’ve been there.
You probably have too.
You’re not running a business anymore—you’re managing egos, dodging tantrums, and praying that “Jane the star stylist” doesn’t quit because half your clients ask for her by name.

Welcome to hostage leadership—a very uncomfortable place to be.

How You Know You’re the Hostage

Let’s test this.

• Is there a staff member you’re afraid to correct?
• Do you find yourself letting things slide just to “keep the peace”?
• Have you ever said, “I can’t afford to lose this one”?

Yep.
That’s not leadership.
That’s fear management.

I met a client just last week who lives in this trap.
He runs a salon. His staff show up whenever they want—9:00am, 10:00am, no shame in their game.
Official reporting time is 8:00am.

He’s talked.
He’s warned.
He’s even deducted their salaries.

Guess what?
Nothing has changed.
Because they know he won’t take the nuclear option: firing them.

The Real Problem: Emotional Blackmail

This isn’t just about timekeeping.
This is about emotional blackmail—where your staff know you need them more than they need you.

So they misbehave.
They underperform.
They test boundaries.
And you fold… because you’re scared of what will happen if they leave.

Been there.
In my early days of manufacturing, I was clueless about the actual production process. I leaned hard on “the people who knew.”
So when they messed up?
I looked away.
I couldn’t afford to offend the knowledge bank.

Until one day—they all walked.
Gone.
Just like that.

What Happened Next Shocked Me

The first few weeks were chaos.
We dropped the ball, orders delayed, things spiraled.
But then something incredible happened:

We got a grip.
We learned.
We rebuilt.
We trained new people.
And the business came back stronger.

That’s when I learnt the unfiltered truth:
No one is indispensable.

Build a Culture, Not a Cult

Here’s the mindset shift:
Your business needs a team, not a tribe of divas.

A team shows up.
Respects the rules.
Understands the mission.
And knows that yes—they’re valuable, but not untouchable.

If your staff don’t fear consequences, they will not respect boundaries.
And if you never enforce the boundary, then your business is running on borrowed time.

You have to build a workplace culture where respect is mutual.
Where bad behavior is addressed.
Where there are actual consequences.

Otherwise, you’re just playing hostage negotiator in your own company.

What I Told My Salon Client

“Look,” I said, “you’ve trained them to believe you won’t do a thing.”
“Even if they came at noon, you’d still keep them.”
“Because you’re scared of the fallout.”

So here’s what I told him to do:

• Make your expectations clear one last time.
• Let them know this time, there will be no more salary deductions—only exits.
• And then… follow through.

I told him what I now know for sure:
Sometimes, the only language people understand is termination.
Not because you’re cruel.
But because a business without discipline is not a business—it’s a circus.

Give It a Name: The Hostage Test

Let’s call this little framework The Hostage Test.

Ask yourself:

• If this staff member left today, would I panic?
• Do I let them get away with things others wouldn’t?
• Have I convinced myself they’re irreplaceable?
• Are they aware of this power imbalance—and using it?

If you’re checking all the boxes, congratulations:
You’re not the boss. You’re the hostage.

Here’s the Fix

• Stop fearing turnover. High-performing businesses have standards. If you tolerate nonsense, you will attract more of it.
• Start building a system, not a star culture. Document processes. Cross-train staff. Create backups.
• Fire with dignity, hire with strategy. But never let anyone think the company can’t survive without them.

Let’s Close This Out

Your small business can’t grow if you’re scared of your own team.

I’ve lived it.
I’ve learnt from it.
Now I coach others out of it.

Leadership isn’t about being liked.
It’s about being respected enough to be obeyed.

So take back control.
Run your business.
And let your staff know—you’re not taking hostages anymore.