In Uganda, family is everything. We grow up knowing that blood is thicker than water, and the success of one person is often seen as the success of the entire clan. It’s common to feel responsible for your parents, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles, even neighbors—especially when you’re perceived to be doing well. Maybe you work in Kampala, have a steady job, or live abroad. Suddenly, you’re expected to be the solution to every financial need: school fees, rent, hospital bills, burial contributions, and daily upkeep. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
What many people don’t realize is that always saying yes, even with a good heart, can slowly drain your resources, delay your personal goals, and create unhealthy expectations. Without setting healthy financial boundaries, you can find yourself living under constant pressure, resenting the people you love, or even slipping into debt just to keep everyone else afloat. That’s why boundaries are not a sign of selfishness—they are an act of wisdom.
Financial boundaries simply mean deciding in advance how you will handle requests for money, how much you are willing and able to give, and under what circumstances. For example, you might set aside a specific amount each month to support family and once it’s finished, you don’t go beyond it. That helps you stay in control, rather than reacting emotionally or out of guilt every time a call for help comes in.
One of the biggest mistakes we make is lending money we can’t afford to lose. In many cases, that “loan” is never paid back, and the relationship ends up strained. Instead, it’s wiser to give what you can as a gift—something that won’t hurt you if it’s never returned. If you can’t afford to give, it’s okay to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. It simply means you’re being a good steward of what you have.
Sometimes, the best help isn’t money at all. It could be connecting someone to a job opportunity, helping them to set up a small business, or showing them how to budget. Those acts of support often do more in the long term than giving cash, which might only provide short-term relief. It’s also important to know your limits. You’re not the family bank, nor are you responsible for solving every crisis. If you’re constantly being called upon to “bail out” family members, it may be time to pause and ask yourself if you’re truly helping or just enabling a cycle of dependence.
It’s hard to say no in our culture, especially when you’re met with comments like “You’ve changed since you got money” or “We’re family—you should help.” But remember, being wise with your money is not pride. It’s preparation. It’s protection. And it sets a healthy example for others. You can respond with love and respect, explaining that you have set financial boundaries to manage your responsibilities and that you give when you are truly able—not just because you’re asked.
Sometimes, the best time to talk about boundaries is when there is no crisis. Having honest conversations with family about what you can and can’t do can reduce future misunderstandings. If you’re the one everyone runs to, it’s okay to explain that your income has a purpose, and while you care about their needs, you must also plan for your children, save for your future, and avoid unnecessary debt.
At the end of the day, financial boundaries are not walls—they’re fences with gates. You open them with wisdom, not guilt. You close them when you need to rest or regroup. And through it all, you remain connected to your loved ones, just not at the cost of your peace or your progress.
So if you’ve been feeling stretched, pressured, or taken for granted, remember this: You can love your people and still say no. You can help without hurting yourself. And you can be generous without being used. Uganda needs more people who are not just financially generous—but financially healthy. And that starts with you.
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